Ever went on a first date with a girl, thought it went well, then she ghosts you HARD when you text her? This, gentlemen is a very common problem for many men just like yourself. That is good and bad news for you as a reader. The good news is most men encounter this problem so don’t worry, you’re just a normal dude. The bad news is it keeps happening because you keep making the same errors you did last time.. again and AGAIN. These are now habits that have formed and these habits have to be broken NOW! What are these habits? Let’s dive in. *cracks knuckles and pushes up thick-framed glasses*
6 Ways to Screw Up a Perfectly Good 1st Date
1. Take her to the movies.
Bruh, the whole point of a first date is to get to know each other. That’s pretty hard to do when you’re both silently staring at the screen for 2 hours.
I get your reasoning here though. You think, oh everyone likes the movies. Yes. Who doesn’t love a good flick once in a while but not until the 4th or 5th date. By that point you’ve gotten to know each other pretty well and obviously like each other. Around the 4th or 5th date may you watch a movie with her. Bonus is you can hold hands and create a physical bond sharing the same experience of a movie together!
So you had the right idea. You just rushed it. Never take a girl to the movies on a first date!!
2. Have bad hygiene.
Oh yes, this is oft overlooked, gentlemen. My reports have come back from my female companions and one deal-breaker they always mention is bad hygiene. The unfortunate part about this one is you may think you have good hygiene when in all reality, you simply don’t. And no one is going to be rude and tell you.
To know if this is an issue for you, ask your friends to be 100% honest about your hygiene. Reassure them that you wont get offended and they may tell you what you’ve never known for allll these years.
I personally sweat a lot no matter what I’m doing. Turns out that would give me terrible BO, enough to destroy my interactions with anyone within whiffing distance. My advice in general about hygiene: Go for top brand items. Go heavy duty. I don’t care what article you read on that organics only website. Get fluoride in your toothpaste. Floss. Use mouthwash. Use a antiperspirants. Shower often. It saved me a lot of lost opportunities and it will do the same for you, bud.
Even if you don’t suspect this could be an issue for you, ask your friends anyway. Trust me.
3. Be desperate.
One of the best ways to destroy a first date or any date for that matter is to act desperate. Seems obvious enough right? Wrong. Just like the hygiene issue, you probably don’t even know you are violating a HUGE deal-breaker for women. So what does desperation look like on a first date? I’ll give you a hint, it’s often subtle. Devil is in the details.
If you aren’t relaxed in your body-language, you are coming off desperate.
If you mention your bed, bedroom, or anything sexual, that’s desperation.
If you change your opinion about something because of hers, that’s called being desperate, my man.
In general, if you care about the date more than she does, you are likely to come off desperate. So what should you do to avoid this huge mistake with women? Well, it’s gonna shock ya but… be dating a lot of other women. Why? 2 reasons. For one, she is 100% already doing this. Think she isn’t? You’re wrong. Sorry dude. You ain’t special, but you could be if you keep reading. The second reason is this is going to help you to relax because all your options are no longer depending on her. This is a human biology/psychology thing so just trust me. She wants you to be dating other women. Just don’t tell her about all these other women with your words. Tell her with your actions.
So always be creating more dating options to avoid coming off desperate! It’s like an upward spiral thing. For more information about this one, check out this article!
4. Get hammered drunk.
This one may seem more obvious, but it’s fun to talk about anyway. When you take a girl out on a first date, she is taking in all of you, and I mean ALL of you. She reads everything about what you say, how you say it, and when you said it. She reads what you do, how you do it, and when you did it. It’s all information that goes into her analysis of the type of man you are. Therefore, if you get drunk as a skunk on the first date, she is going to be repulsed, even if you’re happy drunk.
I know what you’re reasoning is for having a few on a first date. You’re nervous. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being nervous. It’s normal. So normal that guess what, she’s nervous too. Drinking can help to relax you and make you more “yourself” but it’s an easy one to overdo.
Want a good rule of thumb? If you do decide to drink, limit yourself to 2. No exceptions, even if she is having more than 2.
5. Talk about your ex.
For some reason, guys continue to do this and never think anything about it. I’m not sure why, but it’s a big mistake dude so STOP!
Girls don’t want to hear about your ex, even if it paints you in a good light or is relevant to the subject you are discussing. Girls want to know you have dated other women and are what we call “pre-selected” but they don’t want to hear about it, ever.
But what if she asks you about your past relationships?
Yeah, I hear you. It does happen. Here’s how to handle it. Keep it simple, short, and sweet. Simply mention the amount of time you dated, that you ended on good terms, and that you don’t have any contact with her anymore. If you have to lie to convey this, don’t. Just get as close to this benchmark as possible.
The amount of time you dated will tell her that you could be boyfriend potential and not just a player. The greater the amount of time a relationship lasted, the less playerish you will come off.
The ending on good terms detail says a lot about you ability to handle difficult situations. Even if your ex hates your guts, choose to be above that and hope for the best for her. In fact, say it just like that if you have to mention a past relationship and mean it.
If you are still in contact with your ex, that’s a huge red flag and also.. why? That’s most likely not healthy for either of you. Cut it and move on with your life.
Overall simply try to avoid talking about your past relationships and be brief and positive if she prys a little.
6. Ask her to split the bill.
So the date has gone well so far. You had good conversation, smell like a million bucks, had relaxed body language, limited yourself to 2 drinks, and never even thought about mentioning your ex. The check arrives. You open it and then say, “Wanna just venmo me half?” Congratulations dude, you just screwed it up.
If you asked her out, you owe it to her to be the gentlemen and sponsor the date. Does that mean you have to spend $300 on her the first night. Absolutely not. In fact, I never spend more than double digits on a first date.
The way to go here is to simply assume you are footing the bill. In fact, never even mention the bill. By simply taking the check right away and slipping your card in there, she will see you don’t make it a big deal and are treating her like a lady by showing that you can provide without issue. This is a huge turn-on.
If this is an issue, stop reading this and read some personal finance articles. You got to get your situation handled. Get it together or else it doesn’t matter how many dating tips you consume in a week, you will be working harder than you have to just to keep a girl around. You deserve better. She deserves better. Make it happen, bro. I believe in you.
Never ask a girl to pay or split the bill on a first date. Trust me when I say that a little old-fashioned chivalry can quickly make you look like a new man.
And there you have it, gentlemen. The six ways to screw up a first date. Are there more than six? Of course. But keep your head on and remember these 6 first date DONTS to get a serious edge on the next guy. With the easy use of apps and online dating platforms, girls are now stacking guys in just like you every week. Stand out from the pack and resist committing one of the 6 first date sins.
Need more help than this? Get coaching today and watch every first date you have go swimmingly!